Judgement Day

Have you ever been judged unfairly? A judgement passed on you without the benefit of explanation or background? It's human nature. People are judgemental. Without a conscious effort we tend to see things at face-value, assess the situation, then assign it to a compartment in our lives that makes sense. It takes time and effort to see depth, and let's face it- who has extra time on their hands? There is a reason that "first impressions" are so powerful.

If anyone has ever seen us in public dealing with a meltdown (and some of you have!) then you know why this matters. This is one of the aspects of the disorder that leads to social isolation. From time-to-time we have found ourselves out in public in situations that one would think would be enjoyable, only to have Jared suffer what appears to be an out-and-out panic attack and subsequent meltdown. I theorize that these meltdowns are triggered by some sort of sensory overload. I will digress a little bit and suggest that one day scientists will declare that ADHD falls under the autism spectrum and will find the missing link that is causing all this mess... hopefully in my lifetime. Anyway... here's an example:

A couple of summers ago we decided that we would do a spur-of-the moment getaway weekend and announced to the kids that we were going to D.C. to spend the weekend at six-flags. (okay, for the initiated among you that wasn't the greatest place to go!) So, the kids were excited and we packed up the car and off we went. I'll skip now to the meltdown. This was WAY too much for our little boy and he went OFF the deep end! The minute we walked into the park he was insistent that he have a t-shirt. The t-shirt seems to be the "security blanket" that helps him cope, and this is a scenario we have played out before. Okay, to those of you out there who want to judge- this is NOT an ordinary meltdown and temper-tantrum. This is an ALL OUT panic attack that manifests itself in tears and physical abuse. (no, not us abusing him) He cries and punches us and hangs on our arms until we go to find a t-shirt. Then, it can't be the first you see.. Oh, no! It has to be a certain type that only HE knows and is unable to describe to us. Again, you want to judge... just WALK OUT- right??? Well, keep in mind we have spent nearly 150.00 in admission fees, and pray-tell- what about my other child who wants NOTHING more than to ride the biggest roller-coaster, and at this particular moment would like nothing more to be claimed by ANY other family but his own right now??? Ah, so maybe now you're seeing a little deeper? Now, I have thought about this in my head over-and-over: if you were the all-knowing, all-seeing person who would have the nerve to approach us in this situation and offer some friendly advice (I know, I am a little paranoid) I have practiced a response to you in my head and it goes something like this: I THROW my arms around your neck, and with tears streaming down my face I THANK YOU profusely for FINALLY helping us cope with something that to this day we have yet to find a way to contain or prevent, and I ask you: "please, PLEASE kind & all-knowing one- would you consider MOVING IN with us and showing us the way?? Oh supernanny/911? Oh, Dr. Phil? Would you give us the answers that so far have eluded us, despite our search through several doctors, teachers, AI Dupont, Johns Hopkins? For, finally it is YOU that has shown us the error of our ways and will show us the promise land!" Oh, and p.s.- could ya hurry it up, already?? Okay, extreme- I know... but we all have our own coping mechanisms. Sometimes I think that my reaction is God's way of teaching ME not to judge or take things at face value... So, in the meantime I cope in my own way- with my silly little fantasies... and, of course, this blog! Thanks for indulging me...